


Scandalous

by Rockinmuffin



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Gender-neutral Reader, Reader-Insert, and illegal, in which burgerpants and the nice cream guy do an awkward teenage boy cliche, that's rude, they break into your home and raid your dresser
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-29
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-23 23:37:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6133980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rockinmuffin/pseuds/Rockinmuffin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which humans and monsters have very different ideas of what is considered risqué underclothing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scandalous

**Author's Note:**

> I have five billion stories I should be working on and this is what I waste my time typing up.
> 
> Look at my life. Look at my choices.

You wake up at 3:28 in the morning.

You take a moment to lean back into your pillow and silently curse life for allowing you to be awake at such an ungodly hour before you realize _why_ you’re awake in the first place.

You’re not alone in your room.

At the far end of your bedroom a flashlight shines, revealing your open dresser and two arms as somebody carelessly digs through the clothing inside. Which means there are at least _two_ intruders in your room. Or an intruder with at least three arms.

Judging by how you keep hearing a whispered, “For the love of… keep the light _steady_ ,” you’re inclined to believe that it’s two different people.

Slowly, so as not to make a sound, you sit up in bed and search for anything that could be used as a potential weapon. You reach for your nightstand and all you find is a cup of water that’s half-empty—or half-full, depending on your perspective—which _might_ be effective for self-defense if it were made of glass. Unfortunately, the cup is made of thick plastic. Any attempts to smash it into something with sharp, jagged ends will only result in a harmless-sounding _plonk_.

Still, you clutch your cup of water tight to your chest with mixed emotions of fear, anger, and drowsiness.

If these two intruders are burglars, they are by far the stupidest ones you’ve ever had the displeasure of encountering. For one, they’ve disregarded your stereo system and your television sitting out in the living room in favor of sneaking into someone’s bedroom and raid the dresser drawers. What are they even looking for? Money? Drugs? A new look?

Your eyes adjust to the darkness enough that you can begin make out the shapes of the two intruders. The one holding the flashlight has long ears that stick straight up from his head; obviously some kind of rabbit monster. The one digging through your dresser drawer has short pointed ears and could be either a cat or a short-eared dog.

Despite the fact that they have managed to break and enter in your home without waking you up, now that they’re in your room they don’t seem to be all that worried about keep quiet as they continue to rustle through your drawer.

“Oh my God,” says the first voice, sounding oddly familiar. “ _Look at these_.”

“Wow…” breathes the second voice which you also vaguely recognize.

“And they wear these _every day_. They were talking to us just last week and they could’ve been wearing a racy number like _this_ the whole time.”

The second voice’s only response is heavy breathing.

“It should be a crime to wear something this cute under other clothes so nobody can even see.” The voice heaves a sigh that is filled with either longing or deep-seated depression. “Attractive people should be illegal.”

The more they whisper the more familiar they sound until you’ve been staring at them long enough that your eyes have fully adjusted to the dark and you recognize the two punks going through your things.

You blink. “Burgerpants? Nice Cream Guy?!”

They jump in place, look at each other, then slowly turn their heads to face you with wide eyes. Burgerpants tucks something into his pants pocket. The Nice Cream vendor gulps.

With the intruders identified and the situation slowly sinking in, your surprise and fear give way to nothing but pure, unadulterated RAGE.

“What the _hell_ do you two think you’re doing?!”

The Nice Cream vendor rubs the back of his head sheepishly. “Uh, well, you see…” He turns to Burgerpants for help but the anthropomorphic cat monster is already making a break for it.

“THE RAID IS A BUST! RUN FOR IT!”

You thrust your cup in front of you in an attempt to splash the two of them with water but they’re already out the front door as it harmlessly spills across your bedroom floor. It’s probably for the best. With the intent behind that splash, it probably would’ve been a one-hit KO.

With them out of the house, you slam your front door shut, double check the locks, then return to your bedroom. You flip on your light switch to better assess the full extent of the damage.

What you expect to see is your underwear drawer open and askew. Instead, the only drawer open is your sock drawer. It’s a little rustled and it looks like a pair of your knee-highs are missing but that’s about it.

You blink slowly as realization dawns on you. They were talking about your socks. Those two knuckleheads broke into your house, snuck into your room, and rifled through your dresser just to get a peek at your _socks_.

You look at the drawer for a long moment before slamming it shut with a sigh and shaking your head.

“Monsters are weird.”


End file.
